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10/04/2019 19:54

Alright, so...
I've felt like shit for quite a while now. Which is the main reason to why I haven't been uploading too much.
I'm not really feeling sad, at least not if I constantly keep myself occupied with watching videos and all of that, but it's more so the feeling of being "empty" y'know.
...which isn't really a feeling.

It's a pain in the ass though. My sleep schedule is all messed up and I find it difficult to get motivated in general.
Even writing all of this makes me feel selfish or, at least, like an "attention-seeker" or something.
I just don't want to seem distant since this is one of the few places where I always feel like I can be my genuine self.
So yeah, you guys are seriously the greatest. ❤

Sorry for the rant by the way. :P
And I am getting help, just so you know. So, no worries. :)

Comments Unsubscribe

ROBObermann on April 10, 2019, 8:10 p.m.

Don't feel to bad about attention seeking. You've been there for me in the past and I want to give the same courtesy. Know that you are amazing and I'm glad you are here. I hope you feel better soon. (*^^*)

Grey on April 10, 2019, 8:33 p.m.

Thank you man, Seriously. The same goes for you, you know. (^‿^)b

erinmusicbox on April 10, 2019, 11 p.m.

Honestly, thank you so much for sharing this. I sure do know the feeling of being empty (it's been on and off since last summer) so you're definitely not alone. It's hard to stay motivated, but knowing that someone out there feels the same makes me feel a little lighter. Thank you for always supporting me and my melodies, it means more than you know. :)

Kaleidiope on April 11, 2019, 12:46 p.m.

First, gorgeous melody! Second...I know, I may not know exactly, but I know.
It's this empty void in the chest that oddly hurts, but there doesn't seem to be a reason. It gobbles up any sense of motivation.
I told myself it's selfish to feel this way because there's people who have it worse, and that telling anyone would just worry them and I didn't what to hurt them.
And that feeling like they would even care was narcissistic. ...Please, don't EVER feel that way! It's not true. I only realized it when I put myself in other's shoes. They'll want to know,
they'll want to be there for you! Thank-you for telling, it helps to not feel alone. And good for you for getting help, too! I wish you the best, Helena! I'm happy you're here!
(You guys are probably the only people that really know my personalty.)

Grey on April 11, 2019, 4:17 p.m.

Thank you too. And you're right. Knowing that someone else is going through a similar experience really helps you calm down. It's kind of reassuring in a way.
I really hope it gets better for you. You're a delight. :)

Grey on April 11, 2019, 5:06 p.m.

You describe it perfectly. I relate to pretty much every single word. I feel like a burden to nearly everyone around me, like I'm someone you have to "put up" with. I don't really talk about my mental health, unless someone specifically asks about it, cause I feel like I'm forcing them to feel sorry for me. Like I'm bragging about it or something.
Thank you so much.

Also... if we're the only people who knows your personality, I've gotta say,
everyone else is seriously missing out. :)

Kaleidiope on April 11, 2019, 8:01 p.m.

Speaking from what I've known to be true, You'll only ever be a burden to people who don't care about you.
The people who do, will care. They may not fully understand, but they'll care. You're everything but a burden to us!
I've never talked about this due to exactly what you said, in an odd sense, it's kind of nice to have someone who knows.
Thank-you, I wish the very best for you! ^-^

( I always figured that I was probably annoying, so thank-you! )

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